I've always been one to WANT to believe someone when they give you an excuse for flaking on plans. I will also add that I have been known to be gullible as hell, but the world is crazy place! You COULD be washing dishes an hour before we're supposed to meet up, accidentally cut your finger while cleaning the pizza slicer, have to rush off to the hospital for stitches, and only have time to shoot me a txt. Or your roommate might have an unforeseeable emergency at the dog park so you have to go to the vet to try and recover their keys from the pooch's intestinal tract. And it's not impossible that you went to get your mail, slipped on the last stair, blacked out for 3 hours, woke up with temporary amnesia so you forgot we were even supposed to meet at Rae's Lounge--and isn't it serendipitous that we should bump into one another at another bar on the other side of town instead!?
What? It could happen...
I guess it's the over-consumption of romantic comedies, sitcoms, and women's fiction that always hangs those "what ifs" in the air over my head when I get that txt saying, "So sorry but I can't make it because..." I know the world can throw you curve balls now and then. I want to believe that you're truly sorry, and it's not that you don't want to hang out/meet up/date me--something just came up. Last minute. Unavoidable happenstance. If the shoe is on my foot, and I'm the one having to flake out on plans with someone, I always try and give the reason along with a rescheduling attempt. That way, I feel, the person I'm bailing on knows that I want another chance to make it up to them.
Then again, there are those times when you just don't know how to say to someone--I'm not interested in going out with you. I don't want to meet up. Or maybe it's one of your friends and the problem is that you just don't feel like talking to them, or seeing them. They live far, or you're exhausted, or you don't like how their house smells, or their boyfriend/girlfriend/misc relative is always hitting on you. So you end up letting yourself get roped into plans that you never wanted to make in the first place because you were too afraid to tell them the truth. Afraid the truth would hurt their feelings and create a tear in your relationship that would never really mend. Often times, that's exactly what the truth does. Not because you're trying to be mean or hurtful. It's just that sometimes people don't want to hear the truth. And sometimes you're not sure what "the truth" actually is. It's not worth the risk of hurting someone with information that you might not even mean. So you tell a white lie. If they're your friend, they'll be irked with you, but it won't be the end of your friendship. Unless those white lies start to pile up. Then those flakes can turn into a blizzard before you know it.
If they're NOT a friend, if it's a date or an acquaintance--a couple last minute bails will usually get your ticket revoked on the SS Relationship cruise. But maybe if you've more than once deemed something else a more interesting priority than meeting up with this new person...you need to be honest with yourself, and them, about your intentions.
Do onto others as you would have them do onto you. The golden karmic rule--the only problem is that 'doing onto you' part. How DO you really, really, want people to treat you?
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