"Female Expiration" Date

This being the first posting, you'd think I'd do some kind of introductory spiel with a back story explanation. But I'm far too impatient and impractical for that kinda bull shit. All you need to know is I'm 28, single, female, mostly straight, and I live in the worst city for dating: Los Angeles, CA.

I just returned from my first ever trip to New York City. I'd planned this big apple rendezvous for months. I'd gotten tips from gobs of friends and acquaintances (b/c when people hear you're going to NY for the first time, even if they've never met you, they ALWAYS have an opinion on what you should do/see/eat). In fact, I had so many suggestions and only 3 days to explore, that by the time I sat down on my Virgin American flight from LAX to JFK I'd decided to just let the wind blow me in whatever direction it saw fit.

I'd never flown Virgin America before, but if you ever have, you know that it is the future of airline travel. From the purple lighting to the young pink haired hipster flight crew, from the gently sarcastic safety demonstration video to the personal entertainment touch screens in the back of every headrest--it's fucking rad. It was during my audible awe over the portable game console located in the armrest that the gal sitting next to me giggled. We started chatting about the luxurious luxury of Virgin America and then fashion, careers, and finally: romance. She's my age, similar fashion savvy, political opinion, and education but SHE has a lucrative job in advertising which sucks up 10-12 hours of her day 6 days a week. She falls into that category of our generation I like to call "careerotic". So much of her existence is tied up in her career aspirations that she doesn't have time to find a mate. On top of her lack of time keeping her love life elusive is her quality status. A woman like her is hard to match in this day in age. She's smart, successful, and sassy: an S³. Men who can handle women of this caliber are usually in their late thirties to early forties, and men who desire women of this caliber are usually in their fifties--we're talkin' in the metropolitan areas here, people. Not Smalltown, USA. But for many S³ gals on the cusp of 30, a man 8 to 10 years our senior is ready for a different stage of life. They're thinking about babies and houses in the burbs, while we're fantasizing about spontaneous weekend get-a-ways and planning a European adventure.

So there we were, commiserating over this romantic conundrum of TIMING. It's such a delicate balance trying to "have it all". Career, love, success, and a family--they are all high maintenance mistresses asking for an increase in their credit limits. In my new plane friend's case, she was pushing so hard for career success because the opportunity was there, and the advertising business has a definite expiration date. Gotta strike while you're young enough to lift the axe and still show a little leg. But if you want to have a family while you're still young enough to see your kids out of diapers before you have to start wearing them yourself, you're looking at yet another expiration date. Female expiration dates are much less forgiving then male ones, as we all know from watching any local news broadcast anchor team. So we're battling against time tooth and nail, while our male counterparts are stumbling around recklessly waiting to bump into 30. What's the answer to pairing up then? eHarmony? Match.com? For some, yes. For others, no. For me...well, I hope the stories of my Dating Disasters, that are to follow, will help others find the strength to tarry on their romantic battles.